Wednesday, December 10, 2014

This month in 1987

This month in 1987:

- My daughter had been born almost on Thanksgiving

- Completed Airborne School

- Recovering from walking Pneumonia

- Devastated that I was disqualified from West Point (and all the promotions that came with that!)

- Reassigned from the 82nd Airborne to the 101st Airborne (now Air Assault)

This was my life 27 years ago. I thought North Philly was hard, and it was, but what I was to endure the next 18 months was beyond what North Philly ever did, or tried, to do to me. Pssst, Desert Shield/Storm was 27 months away and that was easy in comparison to my first tour of duty (tho it still sucked serving under peace time Jeniuses).

The reason this is relevant now (???) is because I'm struggling with my current recovery. Depression pointed out to me something odd about my accident. In one moment, one flash snap of time, I was aged (mentally and physically) about 25 - 30 years. So I ponder all the things I experienced, accomplished, endured, and enjoyed the past 25 - 30 years of my life and realize that while I may have been aged that much, >snap<, I have not "lived" that much. Just been reduced to a senior citizen in almost every aspect and not given the benefit of any reason to be bitter.

Much.

To this day, still don't really know what happened to me. I don't remember much of the 15 miles I traveled on my bike to be one time for my accident. I remember some of the event, the build up, the start, and some of the vistas the Lord let me enjoy. The last thing I remember was having climbed up a hill to a gorgeous vision of this wonderful Earth. As I started to descend, I raised my voice in joy (along with my arms) to the Lord for this wonderful gift.

That is my last memory and my warmest, most emotional, memory.

To Yaz, I'm sorry that your Mom denied me parental privilege the way she did. I can only hope that I have shown you love and appreciation for the impact your life has had upon me.

27 years ago I was a recovering North Philly hood. My Dad did what he could whenever he could but between me and the streets he was vastly outnumbered. Following his footsteps I choose to serve but I was still 5 kinds of deviousness. Then you were born and I was transformed. From the pupae I was to the person I was then. The person I still am today.

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