Tuesday, April 22, 2014


Most people don't know what that means but if you work at Home Depot you will. It is an anagram of the prevailing philosophy that dominates that environment. To become a part of that family you learn, first, what that means and you will recall it, first, before you do anything.






For the past weeks that has been the philosphy guiding my working hours. Interestingly enough that is a very military philosophy of which I was already well familiar with. It was, and still is, a guiding philosophy that I hold close to me heart. However, following it, recently, failed me.

I am unsure of how. Now, with my cognative disabilities, I could, all unaware to myself, be slipping into dimensia. After all, when you die it is not a problem for you. Just a problem for everyone else in your life. Same thing when you are Stupid... or cognatively disabled.

But, onward.

    At work I would always greet everyone I came across. (Find)

    I would ask everyone I came across if they needed help. (Inquire)
        Customer - Looking to help them.
        Employee - Just a customer by a different name.

    When responded, yes or no, I respected their decision and proceed to the next step. (Respect)
        No, moved on to my duties.
        Yes, how may I assist?

    If they needed my help, help. If not, moved on to my job. (Solve)

    Whenever I left, I said Thank you.

Now, I will be honest: My aphasia, which still crops up, made me seem like the most gregarious person in the world. I jokingly call myself the biggest Jester you will ever meet. And it is true: Like many good comedians, my life has sucked. Instead of crying about it, on the outside, I laugh at the world. Better to make a joyful noise at the universe (or to the Lord as I feel it) then to sit back crying over my little spot of it.

In the beginning of my work "career" I offended a co-worker (Find). Apparently my willingness to help made her feel bad/awkward. Over the next couple of weeks I found out more about her (Inquire). She is a care giver for a victim of traumatic brain injury. (Inquire) The victim is her grandfather who, proudly, dance the edge of life's blade without any remorse. When the edge reached out and finally bit him, it damaged his brain stem. (Inquire)

Now, my opinion regarding such sinful egoism is apparent by the way I described it. However I strove to be as considerate and helpful as I could be. (Respect) Without telling her, her position is very much the one that my lovely wife is in. My wife gets exceedingly frustrated but, in fairness, her frustrations are not with my brain injury. Even before my brain injury, I did not fit in well with society. (Read about me)

I needed training while doing my job. Many mistakes can be easily made especially by a new guy. She was very helpful in bringing me upto speed  and I was able to meld into my job nicely. (Solve) However I felt a personal debt of a two fold nature: As a care giver, she should be more thanked then she probably is. (Respect) And she started to feel like my guardian angel which obligates me to say thank you. (Thanks)

So at the end of my lunch on Monday, April 21st, I walked over to Target and bought a thank you card. I looked at the cute ones, they either didn't apply or could be misconstrued. So I swung over to the humorous ones. I picked one with a tall broad guy, of which I am, but he was wearing bad torn jeans. Inside the card said, "Wanted to Thank you in a Big Ass way!" I then showed it to a co-worker who chuckled and said she would like it. I then went inside, wrote thank you for your help and support. I then wrote her name on the card and, trying to keep inocuous level of interaction, I tossed the envelope to her saying I found this on the ground. (Solve) I then continued on with my duties without any hesitation of any kind. Some times thanks without elaboration is the best.

Little did I realize the damage to my career that I had just done.

No need to elaborate on this point as much of it involves the thought processes of others, however my action(s) raised, in her, the spectre of sexual harrassment. That spectre, by corporate policy, is to be laid to rest firmly and immediately. The appearance, just the appearance, of such issues far outweigh any substance regarding the situation. I, a Freemason, wound up blacklisted for the next 6 months. Any errors, even the tiniest ones, would see the termination of my employment and not in a favorable light.

So maintianing a straight face, while crying inside, I completed my tour of duty. I went home, stressed out beyond my mental capacity to handle, and fussed at my wife until I passed out. From a standing position in my living room I came to needing my wife's assistance to stand. (she respected my need to shut down and left me alone while keeping an eye on me.) I figured out one thing, that work environment is not for me. I still don't have feelings in parts of my hands and in most of my face. The one place I still have strong feelings is apparently very vulnerable - my heart.

So I resigned from Home Depot. I got what I wanted from them after all. Proof that I am physically sufficient to almost any task that the world can call upon me. Proof that I can function, well enough, in a large dynamic social situation. However this proved to me that I am not capable of dealing with disharmonious individuals, of which there are many in many work places. So, I am retreating a bit into a safer place but I am not retreating from work. Just I know the difference between resisting to your detriment or being enlightened and maintaining your dignity and faith... by leaving willingly.


People laugh at me because the think I am different,
I laugh at them because they are all the same.

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